Wednesday, 16 April 2014

No Longer Chasing Ambulances, Because Buses Are More Lucrative!

Kelly Watts and her son Dylan caught the 1C Yellow Bus servicefrom Tuckton Bridge after the youngster had finished nursery.
But as the toddler made his way to his favourite seat at the back of the bus, the driver pulled out and the tot was flung onto the floor.
*gasp* Not that would be a problem if mum was holding his hand, or paying attention…
“The bus driver didn’t wait for him to sit down and pulled out straight away,” she explained. “My son went flying.”
The mother of one is now calling upon bus drivers to ensure children are sat down before pulling out.
She said: “They wait for elderly people to sit down. It should be the same for kids.”
Clearly, Kerry, you’ve never been on a bus in my neck of the woods – they certainly don’t wait for pensioners to sit down (although they should do..)!
Jenni Wilkinson, head of marketing at Yellow Buses, said: “This matter is now the subject of a claim from Kelly Watts and is, therefore, with our insurers. In view of this we're unable to comment further.”
I really hope they don’t offer her cash to go away, but I suspect they will. And then we’ll have even more claims like this one.

Blaming Everyone But The Perpetrator…

Litter bugs in Barking and Dagenham should watch out as an environmental charity launches its annual Great Litter Count this week.
They are just counting it, not clearing it up? Isn’t that the equivalent of those people who decorate dog mess with spray-on paint?

But no. Actually, it’s more sinister than that…
Keep Britain Tidy is asking the public to help it find out which brands are the most littered on our streets. Volunteers can count litter anywhere, at any time and can upload their results using an easy online form.
Subject to no verification whatsoever. How scientific!

And the purpose? I mean, what do we care where the people who drop litter get it from in the first place?
With this information, the charity is aiming to work with the companies whose products are most often dropped on the ground to reduce waste left by their customers.
Ah! Of course! Blaming the provider of the service, not the person who misuses that service.

It’s the progressive way!

The Man With No Name…

…well, actually, he does have a name, but Oxfordshire coroner Darren Salter thinks it should be kept secret:
Mr Salter would only identify the man as Christopher H, claiming he was worried about the safety of children connected to the dead man.
Ah, you can do a lot, can’t you, if you just claim it’s ‘for the children!!!’…
The Oxford Mail opposed Mr Salter’s unusual decision, saying he could not hold an inquest in public in which the deceased person was not properly identified.
Mr Salter said: “He has a highly unusual surname and it is my decision not to make public the surname of the individual. He is not anyone well-known, just a normal person, but we have an unusual surname.”
He recorded a verdict of a drug and drink-related death.
Very curious…

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Us, Be Responsible? OUTRAGE!

Farmers trying to graze sheep on their land claim they have been abused and threatened by dog walkers.
Members of farming partnership WD Carr said they could be fined if they do not maintain the field at the conservation area at the top of Coombe Rise in Saltdean.
But when one farmer started to put up a sheep-proof fence around the open-access land a dog-walker threatened to “knock his lights out” if sheep were put in the field. Another pet owner allegedly threatened to cut down and vandalise the fence.
And why are they so concerned?
Michael Carr, 55, of WD Carr Partnership said: “The dog walkers' problem is that if there are animals in the field they would have to keep their dogs under control, on a leash, while they pass through it.”
Whip out your twelve-bore and tell them you’ll let Fido have it if they don’t...

” And she's terrible partial to the periwinkle blue, boys. Have I made myself clear, boys?”

Essex fire service will spend £28,000 carrying out safety checks at travellers’ sites.
For fire risks. Obviously.
Ukip county councillor Kerry Smith, who sits on the fire authority voted against the proposals. He said: “This is a complete waste of money.
“Residents usually have to phone and ask for a fire safety check, so I’m not sure why travellers should have special treatment.”
Because they are special
A spokesman for Essex County Fire and Rescue Service said: “We have a duty to keep all families safe, particularly those identified as being vulnerable.
“We have a range of early intervention programmes for all targeted wards where we have identified groups of people at risk.
“The cash also goes towards educational seminars for the Essex Countywide Traveller Unit.”
Anything less ‘vulnerable’ than a traveller, I’ve yet to see…

Keep On Runnin'!

The Met Police thought they had found her but an elite woman athlete from Sierra Leone is still missing after finishing the London Marathon
Police said Mami Konneh Lahun, 24, vanished after finishing the event in 20th place. She was due to fly home later today but did not return to her temporary accommodation following the race.
The runner had been staying at an address near Greenwich since arriving in the country on April 7.
She'll blend in well there!
Scotland Yard said she had no known links with the UK and did not have a mobile phone.
 Nope, she'll stick out like a sore thumb!

Monday, 14 April 2014

”This has resulted in her effectively being a prisoner in her own home… ”

Well, that seems only fitting…  
Farah Rashid, defending…"She had admitted that she did not care for the dog as she should have and I'm not trying to find excuses, but she didn't beat the dog and as witness statements prove she had previously cared for the dog well."
Give it up, Farah, if that’s the best you can do.

She got 18 weeks and will probably serve less than half that. And they’ll feed and water her during that time. She’s lucky I’m not in charge of the prison.

Important Cycling Safety Tips

A coroner warned cyclists of the danger of ignoring red lights after finding this caused the death of a young woman at the notorious Bow roundabout.
Mary Hassell spoke out after hearing from police that Venera Minakhmetova “most likely” cycled through a red light prior to being killed instantly under the wheels of a HGV loaded with concrete.
The family, clearly, don’t accept this:
However Ms Minakhmetova’s sister Dina, who attended court with her mother and aunt, told BBC London afterwards that she doubted she would have jumped the lights.
“She was always suspicious about this roundabout...When Venera went there it wasn’t safe,” she said.
Nothing’s safe if you are going to ignore the road signals, is it?
HGV driver Mark Stoker said he had not seen any cyclists in the bike lane, or in the advance stop area 17 metres ahead, as he waited at traffic lights. GPS and tachograph data from his vehicle showed he was travelling at 13mph at the time of the collision.
He told the inquest: “I was three-quarters of the way round and then I just heard a metal noise and stopped straight away and realised what had happened.”
Oh, those awful lorries! Good thing St Boris is going to ensure they all meet stringent new safety…

The vehicle was fitted with sensors to detect cyclists alongside, had an audible warning telling road users when it is turning left, and was fitted with warning stickers telling cyclists to stay back, he said.
A lot of good that did.

But you can’t legislate for people who choose to take risks despite the warnings. Oh, and it probably helps not to be drunk too.

I Think I Can See Why Police No Longer Bother…

A burglar who stole from a former colleague's home has been given a chance because of difficulties surrounding his girlfriend's pregnancy.
The court heard he had 25 previous convictions for 61 offences but Recorder Jonathan Carroll said he would defer sentencing him for his latest crimes for six months because of problems with his girlfriend's pregnancy.

I just…

Sunday, 13 April 2014

The Great Southend Wigwam…

The mystery is solved – this curious structure that appeared on the Victoria Interchange last week is down to none other than everyone’s favourite fakecharity, Sustrans.

You’ll remember them from money-squandering ideas featured on this very blog. This is clearly another.