Sunday, 20 February 2011

Dogging - Yr Doin' It Wrong!

From Anna Raccoon, via email:
A gran who was caught on camera having sex with the family dog was spared jail.

Police found 33 photographs of Paula Mangan, 42, in sexual positions with the Rottweiler-Chow cross dog after raiding her home in Huyton.
Only in Liverpool..!
Mum-of-two and gran-of-one Mangan initially denied the pictures were of her, as they did not show her face.
Blimey! Imagine a boiler so ruff (sorry!) even Fido insists on the 'brown paper bag over the head' method!
Imposing a two-year community order with supervision, Judge Robert Warnock said: "I am satisfied you now realise this sort of behaviour is wholly and totally unacceptable."
WTF?!? She understands it now? She didn't before?

I see no mention of the RSPCA getting involved, so at least we can be sure she didn't indulge in a post-coital ciggie...

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to give her poor doggie a bone

But when she bent over
Her old dog Rover
Gave her a bone of his own.

Badum-tishhh
I'll get me coat.

Doc Trough said...

Just porkin' the dog...

Quiet_Man said...

Dear, oh dear, oh dear :S

I'm surprised that didn't make the Daily Mail as a civilisation is about to collapse piece.

Anonymous said...

The point is often raised to demonstrate the impracticality of suppressing intimacy between dogs.

Anonymous said...

No doubt two dogs were involved.

If you know what I mean.

ranter said...

who took the pics?

NickM said...

My favourite ever dog-sex story happened in Spain. This teenage lass had an interesting way of satisfying her raging hormones. she'd coat her lady garden with Pedigree Chum (or it's Spanish equivalent) and let her spaniel lick it off.

Unfortunately for her and the population of Spain she was in her room doing it doggy fashion but what she didn't know is she'd been set-up in a candid camera fashion and this was going out live. So when the Spainish version of Jeremy Beadle leaps out the wardrobe...

Well you can imagine. "Smile you're live on Espania One!" or whatever.

Aparently Spainish TV has to include a dlay so the producers can hit the kill switch and go to the ads.

Gods it must have been mortifying. Imagine watching that with your kids (Daddy what is that lady doing with the puppy dog?) or your granny.

But that is not the best animal sex story by a long chalk. That's the molestation of Amble Harbour's Freddie the Dolphin. I almost wet myself because the local news broke it and I was watching with my gran and she said, "Eh even the fishes of the sea aren't safe!"

Anonymous said...

Dunno. I assumed you to be cameraman until the use of actual film was established, Ranter.

Lynne said...

One can only assume that when she ordered the dog to "come here" it took her at her word...

Lord T said...

What actual crime was committed here? Well, besides cruelty to animals which she wasn't done for or the RSPCA would have been all over it.

The dog enjoyed it. She obviously did so what exactly is the issue? OK, I wouldn't but I wasn't even involved until I read the article.

I suspect it was more to do with the raid and having to find something to justify it.

Woman on a Raft said...

Rottweiler-Chow cross dog

Another thing which could only happen in Liverpool.

It's, like, both parents were pedigree, y'know, so it's bound to win Cruffs, awright?

Edwin Greenwood said...

If Rebecca Loos can get away with wanking a pig on television, then what's wrong with consenting sex between mammals in private, I say?

Alternatively, if there's going to be a prosecution, why hasn't Fido been charged with anthropophilia and put on the canine sex offenders' register? Not fair, is it? One law for us...

One of the subs at the Sun has got a sense of humour, anyway. Have a look at the "related stories" box in the right-hand sidebar of their report. (Backup copy here in case the original disappears.)

Arf! Arf! Arf!

Trevor said...

Some of those Rottweiler-Chow crosses will go with anything.

selsey.steve said...

Thylacosmilus,
My bill for a new keyboard will be on its way as soon as you can supply an address to which the document might be sent.
:)

JuliaM said...

"Badum-tishhh
I'll get me coat."


:D

"I'm surprised that didn't make the Daily Mail as a civilisation is about to collapse piece."

It might. There's still time.

"who took the pics?"

Now that's a good point! I suspect the answer might just destroy even more of my faith in humanity..

"My favourite ever dog-sex story..."

You've made a study of them..? ;)

JuliaM said...

"Aparently Spainish TV has to include a dlay so the producers can hit the kill switch and go to the ads. "

I can see why they'd need to!

"What actual crime was committed here?"

Luckily, Richard B has exposed his browser history so we don't have to...

"It's, like, both parents were pedigree, y'know, so it's bound to win Cruffs, awright?"

Oh, indeed!

"One of the subs at the Sun has got a sense of humour, anyway. Have a look at the "related stories" box in the right-hand sidebar..."

*chuckle*

"My bill for a new keyboard will be on its way..."

:D

banned said...

Asa young teenling me mate Bob trained his family labrador to mount anyone who bent over. S'ppose that's illegal now, spoilsports.