Best…Contempt Of Court…Ever!

The hoodie-wearing teen had been in the dock to admit stealing beer from a city Costcutter store on October 2 last year.

The court heard how about £5 worth of booze had gone missing from the shop at around 8.40pm that evening.

Crisp also pleaded guilty to making off from city centre JD Sports with an Adidas fleece worth £50.

Case closed?

Magistrates were told how Crisp had a lengthy criminal record, but had only been caught thieving on four previous occasions.

Yup. All the pointers are here:

The court heard how he led a "chaotic lifestyle" of regular valium and cannabis use – and that he was at extra risk of committing crimes when drunk.

But his solicitor Tracey Baker said Crisp had pleaded guilty to both thefts at the earliest opportunity and was on a waiting list for an apprenticeship.

An apprenticeship in what? They don’t say. Too busy getting the mitigation down pat:

And Probation officer Charles Casey said: "It would appear he has engaged well."

Mrs Baker told magistrates: "He has come to court today knowing that the court may take the view that he doesn't appear to be a young man who is eager to engage."

She had argued against a sentence of unpaid work, saying it would be "setting him up to fail".

Surprisingly, it didn’t work:

But magistrates, after 15 minutes of deliberation, rejected her argument yesterday.

They opted to revoke an existing order against Crisp and enforce a new, two-year community order. It includes a two-year supervision requirement, 60 hours of unpaid work and forces Crisp, of Mylor Close, to attend the Thinking Skills Programme.

And were they thanked for their leniency and forebearance?

Reader, they were not:

Chairman of the bench Dr Jim Copper told him: "We have considered the possibility of a custodial sentence and we have decided not to impose that.

"[This punishment] is to recognise the seriousness of the offences that have been committed, but also to try to offer you a way through for the future."

But on hearing of the unpaid work element, Crisp replied angrily: "I ain't doing that."

Warned he could be back before the court within a week for breaching the order if he failed to carry out the work, he said: "To be honest with you, I don't care.

"I'm not doing unpaid work. See you next week."

He was then reportedly ‘escorted from the building by security guards’. Sadly, I suspect not to the cells…