Lee Ollett, 33, used two plastic tubes and tape to create a fake firearm and attempted to rob William Hill in Greenwood Avenue, north Hull.
He stood in the queue before handing a betting slip to assistant Chris Needham, stating: "Hand over all your money and no harm will come to you."
Prosecutor Jane Bryan said: "The assistant looked up to see the defendant had produced a white carrier bag wrapped around two tubes.
"He believed the defendant was intending to make him think he was in possession of a gun.
"He didn't think it was a gun and told him: 'It's not going to happen'."
The defendant asked Mr Needham 'Why?' and he replied: 'Because it's not'."Isn’t that little exchange just fantastic?
Ollett tried to retrieve the betting slip from Mr Needham but failed and fled the store.I wish we’d had access to the CCTV too.
Ollett pleaded guilty to attempted robbery on May 5 at Hull Crown Court. He was on bail at the time for stealing coffee from Tesco in Newland Avenue, west Hull, a month earlier. A warrant had been issued for his arrest after he failed to attend court for the case.His defence wasn’t left with much, but straggled gamely on, anyway:
His barrister John Thackray said: "It is difficult to think of a more inept and unsophisticated attempt to rob."Yes, indeed…
Mr Thackray described the robbery attempt as "a cry for help" as Ollet was feeding a drug habit and was living a hand-to-mouth existence.Right. Which is why he stole….coffee? Funny, if I was really starving, I don’t think that’s what I’d go for…
It’s not his first offence, is it?
Recorder Julian Goose QC jailed Ollett, who has 104 previous convictions, for two years and two months.Great! So, now we feed him, and the other crims teach him how not to be a totally incompetent robber.