Sunday, 20 August 2017

Ay Karimba!

...as Bart Simpson doesn't say:


You'd think if they'd Googled it to know it was the world's biggest lake, they'd have spelled it right.

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

"Hey, Ever Read This Book, Or Watched This Film?"

"'Tarka The...' Errr, no?"



"Never mind, you can do the obit anyway..!"

Sunday Funnies...

Today's 'Well, I never knew that!' moment...

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Cheap Food = Cheap Alcohol = ?

With more than two months to go before Philip Pullman’s long-awaited new novel from the world of His Dark Materials is published, pre-orders have sent La Belle Sauvage flying up bestseller lists.
But with booksellers already slashing the cover price in half, the award-winning author has spoken out about how cheap books devalue the experience of reading, and called for an end to the “pernicious” doctrine of “market fundamentalism” if literary culture is to survive.
Well, seems the answer is 'cheap books'.

Wait.Seriously?
“It’s easy to think that readers gain a great deal by being able to buy books cheaply. But if a price is unrealistically cheap, it can damage the author’s reputation (or brand, as we say now), and lead to the impression that books are a cheap commodity and reading is an experience that’s not worth very much.”
Maybe it isn't? There's thousands upon thousands of available books. They can't all be best sellers.

Maybe some are the equivalent of junk food, some the equivalent of cheap plonk. Isn't it up to the consumer to decide which is which?
He suggested the government should coordinate a search for new ways of working, involving representatives from across the book trade.
Oh. Of course. Leave it to the government, they'll sort it out!
Pullman said that he was “not blaming any one of the parties involved in the book trade in particular” for the current situation, because “I want the whole trade to prosper”. Instead, he looked to “a simple villain – the doctrine of market fundamentalism, that the market knows best, and that a free market is the best of all possible states”.
Maybe you're right, Phil, 'ol son...

*cancels pre-order of Pullman's new book on Amazon*

That feels better!

Vale, Vale....


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos...
The news we'd all been dreading was broken yesterday by Old Holborn on Twitter:


Fare thee well, wherever you are...

Friday, 18 August 2017

Then Nick Them, Don’t Whine About It!

PC Ian Risden, from the Castle Point and Rochford community policing team, was one of the police officers who attended the scene.
Soon after the incident, he tweeted to say that abuse had been hurled in his and his team’s direction when dealing with the situation.
He tweeted: “My team and officers from Essex Police roads policing unit have been trying to deal with a crash with injuries this morning in Benfleet.
We have been subjected to abuse by a member of the public.
“This is not acceptable someone is injured and needs help.
“Disruption unavoidable.”
Is this what the police have come to? Is this what they use social media for? Whining that people were mean to them, like a teenage girl?

In Twitter Veritas...

One of the things about modern social media - best or worst things? you decide - is its immediacy gives you an insight into peoples' true thoughts:





Never mind the grocer's apostrophe, feel the assumption that all those other terror attacks by Islamic extremists had a kinda point, really...

Still, at least she's unelected. Unlike Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood:




Because when you hear there's been a murderous rampage in a van, the first thing that comes to mind is 'right wing terror'...

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Comparing Apples And Orangutans* Again

The ban has divided opinions in the country, particularly after it recently made headlines for animal welfare policy after Copenhagen Zoo slaughtered the “surplus” young male giraffe Marius.
Wait, what? What have those two things got to do with one another?
On Twitter, David Krikler (@davekriks) wrote: “In Denmark butchering a healthy giraffe in front of kids is cool but a kosher/halal chicken is illegal.”
Byakuya Ali-Hassan (@SirOthello) said it was “disgusting” that “the same country that slaughtered a giraffe in public to be fed to lions… is banning halal meat because of the procedures”.
Mogens Larsen (@Moq72), from Aalborg in Denmark, tweeted: “Denmark bans the religious slaughter of animals. Not even zoo lions are allowed a taste of halal giraffe.”
The humane slaughter of a giraffe - regardless of what they did with the carcass - is nothing to do with the barbaric practice of halal or kosher slaughter.

* No orangutans were ritually slaughtered in the creation of this post

Six Months Later....

Remember this case?
Councillors decided Tipple, in Queen’s Road, Brighton, should no longer have permission to sell alcohol as a result of the tax evasion.
But owner Koray Tatlidede challenged the decision in court – until yesterday when his appeal was rejected and the original ruling upheld.
And the bill increased:
Brighton magistrates instead ordered the 33-year-old Turkish businessman to repay council legal costs of more than £3,000 in addition to his HMRC bill for corporation tax and VAT.
I bet the council doesn't see a penny of that...

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Great, More Data For The Met To Ignore….

….because they are terrified the little darlings might fall off and hurt themselves!
Dr Hira Virdee plans to use data science and analytics to follow suspected moped criminals and then alert police to their whereabouts.
The 28-year-old launched @MopedSpotted after he was mugged for his mobile phone while walking in Lincoln’s Inn Fields last month. He jumped in a taxi and gave chase to the four youths on three mopeds — who then snatched a phone from another victim nearby.
Dr Virdee reported the thefts to the police but two days later he received an email from the Met saying that they were taking no further action because there were no leads.
After two days? Didn't try very hard, did they?
He said: “I understand the police are overwhelmed but I doubt whether they followed up all the CCTV leads they could have.
“I decided if no one else was going to collect evidence then there was an opportunity for someone else to collect information on moped crimes and suspects.”
The Twitter account asks people to report sightings of possible moped suspects so they can be tracked in real time. The information can then be passed to police.
Dr Virdee, who has a PhD in physics and engineering and works for a data company, says he has already tracked one suspect group in Finsbury Park.
He said: “It means we can quickly identify hotspots of crime and build up a picture of where these criminals are operating. I get a lot of cab drivers reporting sightings of mopeds.”
So you're doing the Met's job alongside your own, one your taxes pay for, and they are doing...well, what, exactly?