Monday, 23 April 2018

Which Part Of ‘Communal Garden’ Don’t You Understand?

Stephanie Cossington, 30, put the goalposts in the communal area of the Ashleigh flats, in Sanders Road, Canvey, for her son Charlie, ten, and daughter Grace, four.
However, Together Property Management has said the items need to be removed and will be taking action if they aren’t gone by Wednesday.
Oh oh!

Mrs Cossington (Ed: yeah, me too!) said: “The only thing that’s left out there at night are the goal posts.
“When they told me about it, I just laughed. I thought ‘really?’ It’s some plastic goal posts for children.
“He’s a ten year old boy playing by himself. He’s not hurting anybody.”
Have you tried the 'Someone else should have to pay for my lack of foresight' excuse?
“I live in a one bedroom flat with two kids. There is no room for storage. So where am I supposed to put it.
*stifles first image that springs to mind*

Well, that's not working. What about the old 'Waaah, they just hate kids!' one?
“Personally, I think they don’t like children playing outside.”
Hmm, no, still not working. How about 'What's the fuss, there's nothing stating I can't let my kids run riot!' one?
“It’s not blocking the path since it’s in the middle of the grass. It’s only held down by a few pegs.
“There’s no signs saying that they can’t play out there. So why is there a problem now?”
Nope, it's time for the Nuclear Option.
“My son has ADHD and having the goal posts there really helps him out. Usually he takes his medication before he goes to school. So, by the time he’s come home, they’ve worn off. He doesn’t play with a big group of kids so he’s out there playing football on his own to burn his energy off.”
The comments are....well, you can imagine! And in them, this little nugget:

Oh, that paints a picture, eh?

A Date For The Diary...

Today, at Teesside Magistrates' Court, Suleman Halane denied being the owner of a dog that was dangerously out of control in a public place.
The court was told that the 22-year-old's defence will not contest that the dog was dangerous – but he will deny being its owner at his trial on May 18.
This is - of course! - that story. I'll get the popcorn in.

Sunday, 22 April 2018

"'Tis but time, what worth the measurement thereof..?"

Oh good lord, 'Mail', which is it?

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

"Guards, Prepare The Tower...!"

I had the misfortune of catching some of this last night. What a dire evening. Didn't we used to be good at this sort of thing?

Sunday Funnies...

Well, it's been around for a while. How come you're only just figuring this out now?

Saturday, 21 April 2018

Dependency On The State Is Hereby Cancelled

Patricia Newman, 33, and her six children have moved into her mother's home - already occupied by seven other members of her family.
Patricia, whose has six children aged between 13 and one, said the benefit cap made it impossible for her to pay her rent, bills and feed the whole family.
Yes, I don't doubt it. But you know what? England's fed up of paying your rent, bills and food bill. So it's come to this.
But the children's grandmother, Dorothy, says her daughter and grandchildren desperately need their own home - as the youngsters bed down in her living room each night.
Dorothy, of Mersey Road in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, also shares her home with her two adult sons and their collective four children, over whom she has guardianship.
Easy to see where the daughter got the idea it was someone else's responsibility to feed and clothe the offspring from, isn't it?
Ms Newman says she was evicted from her social housing in Firgrove Walk - four miles from her mother's home - after she had her youngest child, and her housing benefits were reassessed. She says the government benefits calculator took into account the combined benefits that she was already receiving, and then considered the amount of money coming into the household in other forms of benefits.
This was considered enough for Patricia to be able to pay her rent, she claims.
This 'family' is entirely dependent on the taxpayer. So when the taxpayer finally decides that enough is enough, and elects someone who will recalculate that dependency, tough luck.
But Ms Newman, mother to Kian, 13, Charlie, six, Cody, five, Poppy, three, Lexi, two, and Kenny, one, said that, with just 50p a week in housing benefits, covering all her costs was impossible.
Ah, there's the crop of chav names I've been waiting for.
Ms Newman added: 'Cheltenham Borough Homes seemed to deem the eviction as me making myself voluntarily homeless - but that was not the case.
'I went to a meeting at Cheltenham Borough Council and I was waiting for them to tell me what they could do to help us.
'I waited weeks and in the end my social worker told me that the council was not going to do anything.'
Nope. Why should it?
She says her children are finding it difficult to sleep in their grandmother's living room, and she is feeling increasingly down as time goes on.
No. One. Cares.

We've had enough. The benefits tap is finally being turned off, the only thing this disastrous faux Conservative government is getting right.

It's no longer acceptable to breed indiscriminately and expect the taxpayer to foot the bill. Go ask the kids' father to support his offspring.

Wait, did I say 'father', singular? Silly me....
'My eldest son's father died when he was one, and the other children's fathers just don't bother with their kids,' she said.
'I have tried to get help from the MP and councillors, but no one seems to help us.'
You've had too much 'help' already. And look what you've done with it.

The benefits gravy train has pulled into the station and the driver's announced it's going out of service. Get yourself home some other way. 

Time To Look At Those Other Cases, Then...?

Footage from a hidden camera placed by two former policeman investigating wildlife crime for the RSPB was used in the case.
For police to place surveillance within the estate they would have had to seek formal approval but they were technically exempt from any requirements made by the charity as the RSPB is not a public body, the judge said.
It seems the RSPB is the next big charity in line (after Save The Children and the RSPCA) for a good hard look at its affairs...and it's been found wanting.
She added: 'The RSPB have effectively taken on the role of a police officer but did so without the scrutiny and oversight that comes with it.
'As soon as the RSPB have enough information to suggest the placing of a covert camera is needed to detect a crime, they should be referring the matter to the police.'
They should indeed. But they probably saw the RSPCA getting away with it and though 'Hey, I'll have some of that!'...
The RSPB told the Times that similar evidence had been accepted in other cases.
Interesting. Maybe someone ought to take another look at those, and at the judges that allowed it through...?

Friday, 20 April 2018

You Punched The Wrong Worthless Bitch...

The court heard Southern had been before a court in April 2017 after the dogs mauled another man in an unrelated attack.
Prosecuting, Carl Scholz said: 'She was made subject to an order meaning the dogs had to be kept on a lead or muzzled.
'But two months later, she was exercising the dogs off the lead without a muzzle along a public footpath in Plumley. She was taking the dogs from an area away from her home and without muzzling or putting on lead.
'She was quite clearly determined to ignore the conditions imposed but didn't want neighbours recognising her. ...
Great! Typical dangerous dog owner. And the typical reaction when it all goes pear-shaped:
'The defendant did shout at this point: 'Get it off,' but she made no steps to remove the dog.
'Mr Gabbott found himself punching the dog four or five times to the head yet was unable to get the dog to let the puppy go.
He was to ask the woman for her details but she indicated that she came from Wilmslow.
Turns out going somewhere else so the neighbours don't recognise you doesn't work in the digital age:
The defendant was traced because of neighbours who recognised a plea put on Facebook by the man's daughter.
She was interviewed by police and answered no comment. She has made no efforts to offer the victim any compensation.'
Of course she didn't.
In mitigation her lawyer James Coutts said: 'This is not a case where she has not demonstrated remorse. She had not been able to go behind the courts back and seek out the complainant - but her partner did though try and reach him to offer compensation.'
It certainly is such a case.

She could have turned herself in. She could have made a full and frank declaration. She could have offered compensation via her solicitor, rather than whatever current shag she is shacked up with (if such a thing ever took place)...
'She is terrified of the prospect of a custodial sentence. One of the dogs has a very sentimental link to her due to her late brother. This perhaps gives an insight into the flawed thought process that was going through her mind - her judgement was clearly clouded.'
I very much doubt her judgement is ever unclouded. Like that of the courts.
But the judge Mr Recorder Simon Parrington told Southern: 'You took your dogs out for a walk in public in contravention of an order and they savaged another dog and a member of the public received injury. You knew the terms of the previous order but failed to abide by them.
'I am sure you didn't go out with the intention of another dog being savaged but you what did lacked common sense. Those who keep dogs must accept responsibility - especially for those dogs which cause risk of harm to others.'
Excellent! A jail term then, and the dogs put down?
At Chester Crown Court, Southern admitted owning a dog dangerously out of control causing injury and was sentenced to 12 months jail suspended for two years.
She was also ordered to pay the vets bills of £1,828 plus £750 compensation to Mr Gabbott and was banned from keeping dogs for life.
The two terriers had faced being destroyed but both will be spared under the terms of a 'Contingency Destruction Order' which gives dog owners two months to ensure their animals are micro-chipped, neutered and insured. They must also be muzzled and on a lead in public and be registered to the owner's address.
It is believed Southern has transferred ownership of the terriers to a friend.

Rocket Science Is Easy By Comparison...

Police officers are taking fresh measures to stop missile attacks on buses in the North-East.
By going out and arresting the little shits? Why, no. This is a job for the....errr....
Police community support officers (PCSOs) have been using the buses in and around Firthmoor to try and identify those responsible for throwing missiles at vehicles.
Now, in a further attempt to stop the attacks, officers have visited a number of primary schools in Darlington to educate pupils about the dangers of attacking the buses.
What dangers?

There are none, for them, if they are in primary school. They will be 'below the age of criminal responsibility', and nothing will be done if they are caught!
The warning comes after Arriva North East decided to temporarily halt services into Firthmoor after youths allegedly targeted their buses.
A few days later, they faced similar problems on the outskirts of the estate when another bus was attacked with services being re-routed.
The Northern Echo understands there have been a number of other attacks on buses in the town in recent weeks, which police are investigating.
Real police, this time?
Last week, Kevin Nicholson, independent councillor for Eastbourne, said one of the elderly residents in his ward was now too scared to go out of her house because of anti-social behaviour in the area.
“It is a good first step to have PCSOs on the buses, but the priority for the police should be finding the people responsible,” said Cllr Nicholson.
“These youngsters could be from anywhere, and they are coming to this estate to cause problems.
“It is a beautiful area – I live here because I want to live here and these kids are giving the place a bad name.
“We need more of a police presence and we need police to respond to concerns – it is not rocket science,” he added.
No indeed. But no-one tries to do rocket science by first demanding there should be no consequences for malfunctioning rockets, do they?

Thursday, 19 April 2018

It Seems The Judge Wasn't As Dim As You Thought....

In mitigation, Pippa Woodrow said that her client suffered from problems expressing himself and that this led to him 'coming across as aggressive', and to escalations of violence.
Such as throwing punches, throwing furniture about and wielding a bottle, while fracturing a man's jaw in two places.
She added that during his time in custody he had engaged well with rehabilitation programmes and had bright future prospects.
Had he really...?
Sentencing, Judge Ian Pringle QC jailed him for 12 months, including a separate offence of having a mobile phone in prison.
Guess not.